when you accidentally bump into the president
have you ever had a dream of someone you haven’t seen or talked to in years and wonder if anyone ever randomly dreams about you too.
how does one talk to another ????????????????
*stands behind a cute girl while pretending to talk loudly on the phone*
"yeah too bad it’s valentine’s day and i’m single. such a shame given my huge dick and expert lovemaking skills. i guess i’ll just have an expensive dinner all by myself"
ppl always ask me “”what are you going to do with your degree”“ and “"if you wanna get a PHD how do you plan on paying for it"" and ""where are you gonna move after college"" but here is the thing:
i am very powerful and cute and im gonna float through this world one day at a time. please leave me alone.
WHY IS THIS SO ENTERTAINING
i need a cuddle buddy, must be ok with listening to my music and spending 13 hours in bed together